dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
