it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
