I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
