are you still at the devil's house?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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