Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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