Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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