I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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