you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
