she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
