Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
