Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
