I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
