Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i think my cat just said my name.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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