you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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