Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
All I want is dick and wine.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
