Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
