garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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