They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
