Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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