No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
