i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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