idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
