just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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