More tranny stories later!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
