her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
