Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
