I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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