Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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