Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize