I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
