So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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