Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize