i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
