why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
