Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
