His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
