I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I supernannyed him into submission
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
