Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
