Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
