Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
