yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
