please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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