Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
grandma shit on top of the toilet
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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