im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
