VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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