with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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