he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
