I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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