Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
