I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
