i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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