i would punch a child for taco bell
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
