I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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