Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
