whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
