I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
