bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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