I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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