She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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